🎙️ [CRACKLE] “This is Channel 9 Radio News reporting live from an undisclosed location. We interrupt your regularly scheduled program with a matter of interstellar urgency.”
📡 TOP SECRET GOVERNMENT FILE #MBJ-1957
CLASSIFIED INTEL: MEAT BOY JEANS—OUT OF THIS WORLD
Date: Unknown
Time: 02:47 AM EST
Location: Somewhere over Miami
Subject: One male citizen abducted by unidentified flying object
Object of interest: MEAT BOY JEANS.
Eyewitnesses describe a blinding blue beam, a low hum, and a fashion-forward male ascending into the heavens—wearing what military experts now refer to as “the most dangerously stylish jeans on Earth.” Tailored with advanced frontal engineering, crafted with that extra SPACE in the front, and built to turn heads in every galaxy, they have captured the attention of beings light-years beyond our understanding.
Government agents attempted to intercept. Too late. The subject and the jeans were gone—into the stars.
If you’re hearing this broadcast—you’ve been cleared for purchase.
💥 Vintage sci-fi artwork straight from declassified files
👽 Alien-approved fashion
📡 So stylish, they break radio silence
🛸 Wear it like it’s forbidden tech.
👉 Before it vanishes into another dimension.
End transmission.
[CRACKLE]
EU representative: MEAT BOY CLOTHING COMPANY, Meatboyclothingcompany@gmail.com, 2121 Biscayne Blvd, 1250, Miami, FL, 33137, US
Product information: Bella+Canvas 3480, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Made in Nicaragua
Care instructions: Machine wash: warm (max 40C or 105F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: medium, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean
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